Odd Jobs
by Phylli
Summary: Dane is now the Phantomhive resident's most recent addition. 'He's' not a killer, nor an experiment, a soldier or a demon but he sure has his own secrets. Contains cross dressing, a bit of Ciel bashing, and A bit o humor.


Chapter 1: Meet and Greet

Odd Jobs: Dane is now the Phantomhive resident's most recent addition. He's not a killer, nor an experiment, a soldier or a demon but he sure has his own secrets. Contains cross dressing, a bit of Ciel bashing, and humor.

My first Kuroshitsuji fic!

It was one of those typical, dreary, overly-dramatic nights. You know the one I'm talking about: the one with the ever so cliché yet so very effective black stormy skies, the flashing lightning that seemed to want to tear open the sky, and bleed the clouds dry kind of nights. Oh and did I mention the howling wind? I don't think I did but damn, if I didn't know any better I would say the wind itself was trying to blow the ear drums from my ears...Yeah. It was one of those nights.

Can you say providence?

But despite this, I pressed on. Fighting against the wind and rain as if my life depended on it. And technically it did. I had a contract to fulfill.

The hill was steep, black and muddy. Every so often my feet, would sink into the road, sticking me into place until I had to brace myself against my one good leg and pull. After a few good minute of tugging my feet would finally come loose and I'd stumble into my muddy and wet freedom….

Only to wind up stuck again.

Of course this was just my luck.

Danielle's stupid- dried up luck.

I'm sure, perhaps in some misguided, foolish, sinful past life, I'd deserve this: Walking in the midst of a storm with nothing but a thin raincoat to help shield me. Oh, such a bad person I must've been to have to pay for it now.

My musings caused my mind to wander into dark territory. The lightning flashed once again before my eyes. I hardly noticed as my eyes glazed over in outright fury.

No, no, Dane, I hushed myself with the thought. Even this is only your fault, not your past life (no matter how convinced you are) if only you'd run faster than you just might have gotten away. You wouldn't be stuck out here, running errand s for a little snobby nosed twerp with a God complex the size of-

Once again lightning flashed and thunder rolled. The sound was deafening but I was deaf to the sounds. Rage had and embarrassment had taken hold of my mind body and spirit and I hardly took notice to anything besides my feet trudging mercilessly through sludge and rain. I was on autopilot, without a care in the world. At least until the thunder rang out and I was forced to snap out of my stupor. I blinked away, freezing droplets of rain and stared blankly ahead. Lightning scarred the sky and the thunder growled.

On a hill sat the Phantomhive mansion.

The Phantohive Mansion was as one would think on a dark stormy night like this. Huge, foreboding and maybe, just a little (tiny bit) frightening. Perhaps in the daytime, the mansion might have looked more appealing, beautiful even but as of right now it was the exact opposite.

But at least it was warm.

Shivering in a newly acquired towel, with Maylene hovering over me. I couldn't help but smile through chattering teeth. The red head smiled back through her cracked and smudgy glasses.

Th-Thanks, I chattered my gratitude as I wrung out my dripping wet hair into a nearby bucket. A puddle had collected around my feet. I'd have to clean that up later…

No problem, Dane, she chirped while turning away to fetch a waiting and howling kettle of tea. I sighed in content.

Ah. It was like music to my waterlogged ears.

All was quiet in the surprisingly intact kitchen. Bard most not have cooked today, I mused quietly while continuing to dry myself. Maylene talked as she made me a cup of tea.

We were getting worried about you, Dane! We thought something had happened, especially when that storm came rolling in, she chirped happily once more as she spun around quickly with two steaming cups of china in her hands. Tanaka, a weird old man sat in a nearby corner chuckled in agreement. His small pudgy malformed hands held a hot steaming cup of tea.

HOHOHO.

Immediately I shot up as my mind reeled in a somewhat premonition. Uh oh! Maylene is such a klutz maybe I should.

Before I could even speak, much less finish that thought the door to the kitchen had burst open. Two blondes both males had entered the kitchen, startling Maylene and I. We both screeched. The breaking of glass soon followed.

No it's not Bard! Its- HEY! WHA-AHHHHHH DANES BACK, the youngest of the blondes yipped suddenly as he finally stopped staring to bum rush me. I gulped instinctively and winced. The bear crushing hug was sure to come soon, I just knew it!

But the funny thing was that it never did.

Cautiously I opened one green as gunk eye, searching around for the overly energetic boy. I didn't take long to find him. He was only in front of me after all. He looked as crestfallen as a kicked puppy! I winced. Oh bloody hell; admit he was like a little kid! Just too cute for his own good!

Straightening from my flinched position, I gave Finny a wide toothed smile to make up for my lack of enthusiastic greetings. He smiled back cautiously and waved. Admittedly I felt kind of bad for not letting him break me in two but at the same time I was grateful. My skin had yet to turn back its natural color since the last time I let Finny hug me. AND THAT WAS NEARLY A MONTH AGO! The boy's strength was no joke!

How was the trip, Dane, the older teen chirped airily as he looked down at me through glittering crystal blue eyes. Obviously he didn't see the puddle around my feet or my still drenched clothes. I grimaced.

Wet….really…. wet, I murmured as he started to laugh. The sound was like listening to booming wind chimes….if that makes any sense.

It was now Bard's turn to greet me. He and Maylene had been busy wiping up the spilled china and tea. For some odd reason we hadn't noticed…..

Wet? You don't say, Bard laughed callously in a familiar way, as trudged in our direction. He reminded me of my brother in law in a way. A hand, large and calloused slammed into my back good naturedly making a wet smack. I jerked and glared at the older man on reflex which he laughed at.

You've been gone all day long, and you finally come back only to bring back a mess, he teased as he shoved a finger at my mud laden tracks. I looked over my shoulder and blushed. It looked like a war zone…a maid's worst night mare. I grumbled.

Ill clean it okay, sheesh, I murmured still blushing as I ducked my head.

Bard laughed again with a squeeze to my shoulder.

Just kidding lad, lighten up. Just glad you're back is all? Everybody was worried about you, yak know, Bard confessed. At this I blinked, before rolling my eyes. He must've been joking.

Everyone, I questioned in disbelief before leveling Bard with a suspicious look. Surely Sebastian wasn't worried. The man's heart was as black as his hair! Not to mention scary….and sexy! And what about "the Master" or as I liked to call him the "Slave Driver". I doubted he'd care if I'd gone missing. Okay maybe not….I did owe him after all. I wouldn't do if his newest Phantonhive servant just up and disappeared. I'd imagine that he would probably hunt me down if I did disappear suddenly. Not to mention the hell he'd put my family through…

The thought made my stomach clench.

Maylene suddenly butted in at the sound of her master being called into a negative light.

Of course, he was, she huffed as she dumped the rest of the broken clay into the trash, the Lord is a good person deep down and he cares. He just has a different way of showing it, is all, she said with an impassioned look.

The other two servants nodded and 'Yeahed' in unison. Finny patted my shoulder comfortingly with a smile.

You'll see, he said, Hell come around.

I huffed, frowned and crossed my arms...

Yeah, right.

It was at this moment that the kitchen door swung open, startling all of whom who were in the kitchen. It seemed Sebastian had finally decided to come. My back stiffened

"I see your back Dane."

He smiled.

Have you ever seen someone, who took your breath away with just one look? Well imagine that times ten. I was about to turn down right blue!

Dane, breathe lad breathe, Bard barked, as he patted my back roughly. The force in each pounding nearly stopped my heart. My lungs sputtered back to life.

Christ….You scared me, Sebastian, I murmured, staring unseeing at the ground as I regained my stolen breath.

The devilishly handsome butler's voice floated like music in the air. (MY GOD I SOUNDED LIKE MY SISTER)

My apologizes Dane….I'd heard so much racket down here that I had to investigate. He shot a look towards the other servant (who smiled and laughed sheepishly) before continuing, The Young Master requests to see you.

At this my face twisted into a grimace.

Really? Do I have to-?

A simple look from Sebastian cut me off and made my blood freeze. Obviously Sebastian was a just as protective of he's master as the rest. I sighed in reluctance and shrugged.

Remember Dane, you're his employee. Be a good lil chap, and this will all go smoothly, I thought bitterly as I followed the butler out of the kitchen and into the huge winding mansion that was the Earl Ceil Phantom hives.

A/N: So this idea sprang after watching Kuro for the first time. Also, I was kind of getting tired of ALL the Sebbiel fics (even though I love em).I'm adding something different to the pot. Hope it's good and if it's not give me some critiques. For the most part this should be friendship fic…unless you know. I change my mind. Anyway reviewers are awesome so spread your awesomeness folks!


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